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Archive for January, 2015

The last couple of months, Charlie and Rosa have fought quite a lot with each other. This goes beyond verbal, and very quickly escalates into physical.

My lovely, sweet Charlie took it most of the time. Rosa would hit or hurt him and he would cry, but he never did it back. He was of course winding her up in the first place…and he never learned to actually not do that to not get hurt but that is another matter I suppose.

Anyway, I think he finally had enough and began to retaliate. They hit each other a lot. They argue over lots of things, possession being the most common dispute.

Rosa can be brutal. She bites and she bites hard! She has even drawn blood in the past.

I struggle to referee as quite often I am stuck under a baby feeding. I also don’t really discipline after the event, preferring to let them manage their own battles, but after a while it was clear this method was not working.

I had a long chat with Charlie. He is so grown up these days that it is quite easy to reason with him. He agreed to not hurt Rosa anymore, and if she hurt him to report it to me rather than retaliate. This worked really well.

Our week at Center Parcs also did wonders for their relationship. They do have such sweet moments too, and these probably outweigh the arguing which I can be thankful for. Rosa does miss him whilst he is at school. I guess it is all part of growing up, and I know I used to hit my own sister so I can probably blame my own fiery genes for this!

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From the moment I became a mother, I had given my children everything they have ever wanted. Be that love and attention, or physical materialistic things as well as food they desire.

Whenever we went out anywhere I would buy them something, sweets, chocolate or a toy, some art materials, whatever it was there was pretty much always a purchase made. The came to expect it, to demand it, to be ungrateful of it. The worst part of it was their complete and utter lack of respect for things. I would buy them something, they would play with it for 5 minutes and then throw it away. Things had no value to them.

Then Christmas happened and I was hit in the face with all of the above. Friends and relatives would give them a gift and their reaction would be lack lustre, or even sometimes negative!

‘What a book?? I don’t want a book, I want a TOY!’ and said item would be tossed over their shoulder.

I was mortified, embarrassed.

The in-laws came for the day and we did a little mini Christmas for them with presents, Xmas lunch etc… They had both opened loads of presents, the floor was covered. We suggested going out to a shop in the afternoon and Charlie said he would only come, and only be a good boy if we bought him a toy. He had just opened 15 toys only hours earlier.

The same thing happened on Xmas day. Stacy and I had spent the whole year buying their gifts, knowing that money would be tight come December and me being on maternity leave again. We had carefully chosen things we knew they would love. We had also got some amazing bargains and were excited to experience Xmas morning.

What we actually got was hardly any reaction to anything. Christmas day was lovely, don’t get me wrong. But it certainly wasn’t ‘magical’ or incredibly exciting as it was for me as a child.

New year, new Mummy.

I am no longer buying them toys inbetween birthdays and Christmas. If they want something, they have to wait. I no longer come home with things I have found for them when out. Instead they will be stored and given at bday and Xmas. The present pile WILL be smaller. There will be no huge amount of gifts. They will learn to appreciate things. This is my duty.

We went out to a shop the other day and when we reached the check out Charlie asked for some sweets. I said no. Charlie looked all upset.

‘but I have been a good boy’

and I said yes you have, you have been a very good boy.

‘so what did I do wrong?’

You didn’t do anything wrong sweetheart.

‘So why won’t you let me have some sweets?’

Because you don’t always get sweets. You behave yourself on outings because that is the right way to behave, not to receive a reward.

It was hard. I wanted to buy him the sweets, but I held my ground. He wasn’t even that upset. He didn’t cry or throw a tantrum. I think he was more confused than anything.

So this is going to be the new Mummy.

I want to be able to treat my children and see their faces light up. I want to see excitement, anticipation. I want to instil some value to physical items.

Wish me luck (and strength)

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I am terrible at blogging at the moment! I get so behind on posts I want to make, that it becomes too much to try and catch up and then I don’t post anything…and get even more behind!
So….I think I shall forget what I have missed and pick up from now. I have several topics I would like to blog about including ‘spoiling children’, ‘sibling harmony’ ‘depression in the non gestational mother’ and ‘the reflexes of a newborn’….haha

For now I am going to share with you some images from our recent trip to Center Parcs. We had a wonderful 5 days there…we always do. This year we had to take Charlie out of school in order to afford it. Here in the UK the law changed last year so that any child taken out of school for family holiday can be fined by the government. We are at risk for this for doing so…and I don’t care! I hate that I can’t make choices and decisions for my own children because the nanny state has told me so. I am the parent, I make the choices. Even with the fine, the holiday will be waaaaay cheaper than the hiked prices in the school holidays. We knew what he would have been doing in school this week and we made sure to do it whilst there anyway.

Quite honestly he had a wonderful education this week regardless of any formal learning. Not to mention the bonding that happened with his siblings. We walked, we rode scooters, we swam, we danced, we ate, we talked, we played and we loved.10923662_10153083139972783_8596461921720173948_o (1)

The handbag!! It has now been sledging, bike riding and scooting in the last few weeks. She won’t leave the house with it…and if anything goes ‘missing’ the first place to look for it is in her handbag!!!

We spent most of our time in the pool, the amazing subtropical paradise. Charlie had received for Xmas a waterproof digital camera and it was loads of fun to take photos in the pool, videos coming down flumes and even underwater shots of us all!

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My Mum joined us for a couple of days and my Dad joined us also for a day. Him and I went and did laser clay pigeon shooting which was ace but knackering.
We also did the evening disco a couple of times which the kids loved.
We absolutely pigged out, as the diet started the day after we got back!

There was an unexpected moment after dinner one day when Cleo deicded she wanted to feed and we were in the middle of the central plaza. I spotted a sofa and headed out to it, whipped out my boob and began feeding. A woman came over to me and said ‘sorry I don’t want to disturb you, but thank you so much for feeding in public and not even worrying about it, it is so nice to see!’ and then she walked off again. Left a big smile on my face.

Mostly it was just amazing, intense family time. Charlie and Rosa got along so much better by the end of the week.

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