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Archive for February, 2014

My Chart

Every year around the time of Charlie’s birthday I print my blog (professionally). I think it will be really interesting for our children to have once they are adults or when we are gone because they will really get a feel and know why we did things the way we did do things. I also include so many things on my blog am likely to forget over the years, it’s like a diary.

Here is my chart for our most recent BFP, the baby who until they are born we are going to call ‘Twinkle’.

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One of my friends today said to me ‘So are you hoping for a girl? You are aren’t you? Don’t try and tell me you’re not!’

I was a bit taken aback by this. Do I want a girl? I would love to be able use all of Rosa’s cute clothes again, and a sister-sister relationship is special, and one I would love Rosa to have but….

A boy would be lovely too! I have loads of cute boy clothes, and a brother for Charlie would mean he wasn’t SO outnumbered by women. I love my boy for his boyishness. Rosa would also stay my special little girl.

So no, I am not hoping for a girl. I will be truly delighted to hear we are having a boy or a girl. Honest. 😀

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Curbing Weight Gain

I have gained quite a bit of weight in the last 8 weeks or so….about 8lbs actually. This is awful. Today I was 2 lbs heavier than the beginning of the week. I had eaten Chinese take away (twice) an Indian, a KFC and a SUBWAY. No surprise really. I feel disgusted with myself.

So in the shower this morning I decided to turn a corner and eat healthily again! I had All Bran for breakie, a pasta salad and apple for lunch and chicken noodles for dinner with no snacks and plenty of fluids. I feel all smug this evening for managing a perfect day of good eating. I hope I can keep this up! At my BMI I don’t need to put on any weight at all whilst pregnant, it isn’t needed. I could even give birth at a lesser weight than I am now if I put my mind to it.

I want to nourish my baby, not grow it with processed crap! Right that’s my pep talk over. Tomorrow is another healthy day 😀

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Not fragile glass anymore

You know in your first pregnancy you are treated like fragile glass…? Well by the third that all goes flying out the window. Today I have spent a good portion of the day lifting heavy things, my children, pushchairs, suitcases, pushchairs, my children…lol 

and I am experiencing mild cramping in my lower tummy. It’s probably nothing to worry about, but it made me go out and buy a CB digi test to check that my HCG levels are rising nicely (no beta testing here!)I was very relieved to see 2-3 weeks appear on the screen. It was a 2 pack, so I shall do another one next week and hope to see that 3+ result.

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I’ve just spent a lovely couple of days with my Mum. We did craft, we did a spot of shopping, we lunched and we chilled and played with the children. Rosa asked to go for a walk. I put on her coat and let her go and I followed. We were half way to the next village when I decided we ought to go back. She was having NONE of it. She sat down and had a full on tantrum. She wanted to walk ‘that way!’ I picked her up, I span her round, I crossed the road and I told her NOT to walk in the direction I wanted…. she still knew the direction she wanted. She is clever that girl. I am not used to tantrumming. Charlie does not tantrum, he sulks. Sulking is quiet. I like sulking.

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One Hit Wonder

Yesterday we attended my Grandad’s funeral. It was much more emotional than I thought it would be. My auntie took me to his flat, which smelled of him. I had never been invited to his flat since he moved there 2 years ago. On his fireplace where pictures of my children. That made me cry. The funeral itself was a catholic mass which I found hard in itself, quite impersonal to him, but what he wanted. My Dad was ‘allowed’ a 2 minutes eulogy which was beautiful and again made me cry. Then we actually went and buried him. We had to climb a wet muddy hill to reach the grave site. My Uncle said that my Grandad had a sense of humour making them all carry him up that slope, we all laughed though our tears. We all threw a flower into the grave as we said our final goodbyes. The wake was lovely and Stacy brought the children to that, and my Dad proudly showed them off to all his extended family that we never see.

This morning I took one of those awful internet cheapy tests and on it was an evap line. With Rosa I got an evap the morning before my BFP so I persuaded Stacy go and out and buy a ‘proper’ test. I dunked it and the line appeared within seconds. I called Stacy over and we both held each other and cried whilst the children both fought and cried at our legs.

The result brought out an awful lot of emotion in Stacy. Tears rolled down her cheeks with happiness. But…there were other emotions present also, and only she really knows what they are. She has spent a good proportion of today researching the law with regards to paternity leave. She is going to have a good talk with HR on Monday and get the facts on what she will be allowed to do. Things are going to be different this time. She is going to take that time off work to attend midwife appts (she is entitled!!) she IS going to have some time at home, an extended period of time at home, and it is going to be wonderful.

So today, we go to bed with huge massive smiles on our faces.

The rainbows were right ❤

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BFP!!

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I ovulated on Tuesday, so the insem was perfect. Stacy had a blood test this week to see if she ovulated. We got the results today and they were ‘inconclusive’ being that her level was 25 and a level of 30 is needed to confirm ovulation did take place. She got very excited about a level of 25, and took it to mean she did ovulate. I did my best to keep her feet on the floor (although I am not denying a rise in her levels is a very positive thing!)

Soooo if I am not pregnant, we have more discussing to do. I would prefer to wait another cycle to see if those levels become a bit more certain before we start inseminating again with her. Whether or not I inseminate is not sure at this stage. Stacy seems quite up for both trying at the same time! She did say that being on a 2WW at the same time was not ideal. I would find that all quite exciting actually! Who would actually do suck a reckless thing?!? haha, me!! I would bloody love twins in separate uterus’. I bet we could get on TV LOL!!

I have now firmly imagined myself pregnant and giving birth again. Whilst I am happy for Stacy to commence trying again if it seems sensible, I have asked if she would consider a 4th……..for me to try again……..? She smiled and said she wasn’t against anything any more. They do say 4 is better than 3….don’t they? 😀

A few more kidisms

After swimming Charlie told me that my hair was ‘raining’

I heard Stacy say to Charlie this morning:
‘If you can still see your willy, you haven’t done it right’
Which made me chuckle, as I thought it was a good philosophy for men in general really.

(He was putting his own pants on, and his willy was sticking out the side)

 

My Mum said to me, ‘I only had ONE of you to deal with when you were little, you have TWO of you to deal with’ – she is so totally right, they both have my temperament.

 

Whilst watching ‘ The Lion King’…

Charlie: ‘What’s wrong with Simba’s Dad?’
Me: ‘He’s Dead’
Charlie: ‘Like a Kindle?’

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Rainbow

I’m not usually a superstitious person, but I have often seen rainbows after inseminating. Today as we were driving home from Rosa’s gym class I saw a DOUBLE rainbow. My first thought was oooooh twins! Then I looked closer and saw a THIRD rainbow. They were beautiful and wonderfully intense. I pulled over to photograph them.

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Just as I got my phone out to use the camera, it rang. It was my Dad. He told me that my Grandad had just died. I sobbed, and told him that I was sitting looking at the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. I could hear my Dad getting emotional on the other end. My Dad never gets emotional. I feel sure one of those rainbows was my Grandad.

I have blogged a few times about my relationship with my Grandad. I feel at peace that at Christmas we were in a *good* place. I gave him a warm, solid hug as he left the party and I don’t know why, but I somehow felt that would be our last hug.

I gave him his first and only great-grandchildren, and although he didn’t see them as much as I would have liked, he did love them.

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