Inspired by http://2momstobe.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/thanks.html and their story, I took up the invitation to write our story.
I was desperate to leave home and go to university! Having come from a very rural community I had not had the chance to become sexually liberated. I was out to everyone (except my Dad) but there was just no one else around for me to even try and pursue. I did have 1 blind date with a girl, who I actually did like, but it never got beyond that first date, as we were just too shy. I did meet her again many years later to find her unhappily with a man. I inspired her to leave him and she found a lovely woman and we chat on facebook often now. Anyway I digress…
So I joined the LGB group at uni in the first week and got stuck right in to the social side of things. I went on pub crawls, and club nights 2-3 times per week. I am a very ‘femme’ person and never got any attention in the clubs. Most of our group were men, and I was generally assumed to be the fag hag. The other girl of the group I was just not attracted to (but we did try!!!). I went home with a woman once, but she found out she was to be my first and chickened out and left me sleeping in her bed while she slept on the sofa. So pretty unsuccessful first term.
In our second term a trip was arranged to go to Blackpool. Along on the trip came a girl who I had paid no attention to whatsoever. I was not attracted to her, and anyway she was in a relationship. She walked on crutches most of the times I had ever seen her after hurting herself in a drunken accident. Her face was also very swollen and bruised after the same event. She played rugby and out of maybe a handful of conversations we had ever had, she had shown me all her cuts and bruises from a recent match. Yeah, totally not interested in her. I was asked to share a bed with her and I flat refused. (this was Stacy btw)
She came on the trip dressed as Minnie the Minx, I was dressed as a bee. On the bus there she kept us all entertained. She was so funny! She taught us songs and told us humorous stories. We went out that night and she carried on being the life of the party. Her dancing was hilarious! I started to feel something inside me. I confided in a mutual friend….. ‘I think I like Stacy’ and he said ‘oh that’s interesting she likes you too’ but she was in a relationship….
Over the next couple of days on the trip the tension built between us. We never did anything. One of the things I learnt about her, was that she was very loyal, and had a fierce sense of what was right and wrong. I was left hanging, and in lust.
It took what seemed like an age for her to break up with her girlfriend. When I heard the news I grinned from ear to ear. I text her saying that we should meet up, I was devastated to receive a text back saying that she didn’t want to rush into anything.
We had a break from uni soon after this and we texted a lot. I told her I understood she needed some time and that I would wait.
Once back at uni, I got a text from her inviting me to coffee!!! We walked into town together and into Starbucks. She asked me what I would like. I replied I did not drink tea, nor coffee, nor hot chocolate, nor any fruit juices they had. She had already ordered her coffee and paid £2.20 for me to have a bottle of water. We talked about this the other day. You have to remember that we had NO money and that this drink out was to use all her spare cash for that week. She could not fathom why I let her take me into a place where I did not like anything. We laugh about it now.
The rest of the dating is a bit of a blur, it didn’t take us long to fall head over heals in love with each other. I remember our first kiss vividly after checking with her best friend that that she was ready for me kiss her, I went for it. She was my first, and is still my only. We had from March until June before the summer break. That summer I moved to Hong Kong with my parents.
The early years of our relationship have a lot of separation. I would spend every holiday in Hong Kong with my family and she had to work to have any money. I was so lucky in that I was given money by my parents, but she did not have the same luxury.
By the end of our 2nd year we were faced with a new hurdle. Her course was a sandwich course and she was to spend a year working somewhere. She tried her best to get one in Birmingham so we could stay together but ended up with a placement over 200 miles away in Weymouth. She tells me years later that she had made the decision to break up with me. At the time I suspected it and did everything I could to convince her it could work. We did not break up.
Instead, I spent the next year not going to Hong Kong and instead driving down to Weymouth at every chance I could. Our relationship was on fire! There were weekends we just didn’t get out of bed. When we did manage to come up for a bit of air, we strolled along the beach and cliffs and ate out in cheap restaurants. It was such a glorious year. I look back on it now with such a warm fuzzy feeling. We were so in love.
My parents invited her to spend the summer in Hong Kong. They had met her briefly for a day when they had come home for a bit. It was clear to them, that I would not be seeing them if she didn’t come too! (I had come out to my Dad by now, first year actually)
The summer in Hong Kong was amazing. My parents gave us money and we roamed the city doing whatever we wanted. We were so free and careless.
My parents treated her as a daughter from that very first time together. She had a birthday while we were there and my parents paid and took us to see ‘Stomp!’ and well as take us out for dinner.
Stacy also had her first Disneyland experience. Our house was about 500 metres from Disneyland, and every evening we watched the fireworks. Local residents were invited to go before it opened and so I can say I was one of the first people to ever attend.
We got married for the first time whilst at university! We staged a protest ‘wedding’ before it was made legal. It was loads of fun!
Our final year at uni was fab too, I had my own flat, and although we did have to work hard there was still time for loads of fun. The advantage to Stacy’s sandwich year was that we did graduate at the same time (she was in the year above me)
Our graduation ball
From there, we moved together to Sheffield for me to complete my pre-reg year and for Stacy to do a PGCE. This was a very difficult year as we had less than no money and got into a lot of debt. There wasn’t much fun to be had, it was very stressful for both of us. We supported each other through it though and came out stronger than ever. We got engaged this year and were met with a very lukewarm reception. I don’t think anyone took us seriously. Perhaps they thought we were still too young, perhaps they didn’t believe gay marriage even existed yet.
Still, people came round eventually and coughed up! We were married in 2008.
The story continues, we continued to fall deeper in love, and we started a family together. I watched her walking away from me earlier today and I still love her fiercely. I could not live without her. The spark is very much still alive, and I can see us growing old and wrinkly together.