Archive for February, 2012

The illness drags on…

So I had Norovirus, got over that. That was quickly followed by a nasty cold, which I can cope with, normally!

On Thursday I was supposed to be doing an extra day at work but had to phone in sick as my throat had swelled up, as had my neck and I felt appalling.

Then on Thursday night my ears became very painful. They felt like they needed to pop and the pain was intense. I tried all sorts to relieve it, olive oil drops, hairdryer into the ears, a hot bath with head under water, dangling off the edge of the bed to try and drain them. I knew that taking a decongestant would take it all away, but could find no one who would tell me it would be ok. In fact researching it on the internet it explains quite clearly that a decongestant constricts the blood vessels,and this would also happen to the placental blood vessels compromising blood flow to the baby.

It was a big no no.

So a suffered on hoping they would clear. I was inhaling constantly. Olbus oil, Karvol, Vicks, Sinex…they all cleared my nose but nothing cleared my ears. By Saturday night I was really very deaf. I had also developed a loud ringing in both ears. The baby was also not moving very much. I worried that all my inhaling was effecting her. I tried to cut down on the inhaling as well, cue more woe.

Sunday I gave in a sought medical help. I was diagnosed with ear infections in both ears and given antibiotics. I am still off work, they must hate me. It’s been one thing after another!

As I am sitting here in a quiet room on my own, I cannot hear the typing off my fingers on the keyboard. I can hear a high pitched whistling noise, it is driving me mad.

Mum has got Charlie for me. I am going to ask her to keep him for the rest of the day.


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Something just changed

I don’t exactly know what has changed but we were walking and suddenly my bump felt uncomfortable, and then I started getting sharp pains in my cervix (I think!) and from that point on walking was really hard and I had to waddle.

Now I am sitting and I feel really weird. I think she has just majorly shifted her position.

I remember the lightening crotch from last time, ouch!

We just got back from doing some shopping. Pink sheets, changing mat, a blanket, a parasol and other small bits. Stacy says I am nesting, I think she is too!

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It’s not often I get angry, I am usually quite a calm, balanced person, but this weekend has left me very angry and more importantly…extremely worried.

Let’s start at the beginning. We were invited to attend a weekend party to celebrate the birthday of a friend. It was a 2.5 hour drive away and was going to cost us £100. We said ok, as we were surprised we were even invited with Charlie and we thought it would be our last chance to do something like that before the new baby comes.

On Weds, I came down with Norovirus. It was horrendous. I felt so poorly and the baby inside me was going crazy. I couldn’t even keep water down and was very worried about becoming dehydrated. The cramping in my stomach was intense and it was hard to decide if they were contractions or cramps. Honestly, awful. Stacy took the day off work to look after Charlie on Thursday while I recovered. He had a temperature, a heavy cold and conjunctivitis in both eyes and was quite miserable himself. Luckily he never contracted the sickness.

We were supposed to go to the party on Friday night. Stacy was pushing for us to go despite the illness. I put my foot down and said no. It had not been 48 hours since I was last ill, I felt very week and Charlie was still poorly himself. She was upset and I could see it. She doesn’t often get to see these friends and she doesn’t have many friends here either. I felt bad for her.

On Sat morning, she asked if we could go again. Charlie seemed a bit better and I felt a bit stronger. I was dubious though. It was a long way and Charlie has been sleeping really badly. I agreed to go.

On the journey there Charlie did cry quite a bit, but nothing too bad. Once we got there they served up a massive cheeseboard (none of which I could eat). We didn’t even start to eat dinner until about 9.00pm and this was when the really bad things happened. Jon, the cook, is known for serving up rare meat. I know that I shouldn’t eat rare meat while pregnant and sent a message to him via Stacy to make sure anything I ate was well cooked.

I bit into my burger and swallowed a mouthful, When I looked at the burger it was bright pink inside. I looked around at everyone else’s burgers and they were all practically raw inside. Most people were chomping away happily. A few people were noticeably uncomfortable. I knew that these burgers had been made over a week ago, frozen, thawed on the side and left on the side most of the afternoon before being cooked. I was HORRIFIED! I asked for mine to be put back on the grill which he did for me. I ate the burger as there was nothing else and I hadn’t eaten since 11am that morning. Stacy ate a raw burger. She didn’t seem bothered.

Someone asked…’is it ok to eat rare burgers?’ Jon said, yes! It’s beef!

After dinner it was ‘wine tasting’ anther thing I couldn’t partake in. I was bored beyond belief and went to bed. Once in bed I got out my phone and googled rare burgers. Turns out it is extremely dangerous to eat uncooked minced (ground) beef and there is a serious risk of e-coli. I burst into tears and lay awake fretting until Charlie woke up screaming.

I called for Stacy. We think he is having night terrors. He is very difficult to comfort and continues to cry and thrash about. After a while he calmed down and we went to sleep. He woke again a few hours later screaming.

In the morning, for breakfast, Jon re-heated and served up the burgers from last night!! OMG people actually ate them again. I fear for their life I really do.

I couldn’t wait to leave. Once in the car I became angry. I hadn’t wanted to go to the weekend due to illness but we had gone. I had been served up a raw burger, have potentially been exposed to e-coli and had a shit time anyway. It was NOT HIS CALL TO MAKE!!! I had asked for well cooked meat. He had ignored me. His flippant disregard for my pregnant state was disgusting. I am worried for everyone else too. He obviously does not understand food hygiene to a level where he should be cooking for other people.

Stacy felt awful that I was so upset.

We met up with Stacy’s parents and as I told them the story I burst into tears. I tired to cheer up to spend time with them. Stacy’s Dad took Charlie off to play in a soft play area and her Mum told us her usual stories from work. I got through it and managed to smile a few times as well. They don’t see us often and I felt bad their time was blighted by my mood. It was her Mum’s 60’th birthday as well 😦

The drive home home was as horrendous as the rest of the weekend. Charlie screamed for ages and I got so stressed and agitated. Cue more crying and arguing. (we very rarely argue!!!)

The incubation period of e-coli is between 1 and 9 days. Fantastic. Another 9 days of worrying before I can forget about the whole awful experience.


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Center Parcs mini break

This week we had a little holiday to Center Parks. We had such a wonderful time. We are really broke this month and so I was worrying about it. We had allocated money towards it, but then that money got spent on cars and other stuff. We agreed that it was much more about spending time together and enjoying life rather than anything else.
This was totally what it ended up being. As the week went on, the bond between Charlie and Stacy deepened so much. She doesn’t get to spend an extended amount of time with him, and the time she does have is often littered with other things such as making dinner, or the lure of the internet…
The snow was still around, and we got a fresh covering while we were there too, it was actually quite magical, although very very cold!
We went swimming everyday. Charlie is such a waterbaby. He is also an adrenaline junkie! Stacy took him down a flume and he wasn’t happy unless he was whizzing down a slide somewhere! We made up a baby sign for ‘flume’ and he used it to good effect. He also loved the wave machine and the lazy river.
There was of course a little time for some art 🙂 I painted a bowl and made fingerprint flowers of us all. The new baby was on there too, but Stacy wouldn’t let me paint her name in case anyone saw it before she arrives 🙂
My parents and my brother joined us on the last day and we did bowling (which I really shouldn’t have been doing!!!) and had a nice lunch. Unfortunately they closed the pool in the afternoon and that was what we had planned to do all afternoon 😦 My poor brother was more than gutted. They did put on some other free activities instead and they went rollerskating whilst Mum and I took Charlie into a play session. Mum spent the whole time trying to guess the baby’s name, which I found quite amusing!
All in all a wonderful week. I love my family so much.

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It snowed last night. Charlie’s reaction to seeing it this morning was precious. I couldn’t wait to get out and we were out there by 8.00am!! I have to go to work this morning, and it is going to be a dangerous drive as our estate is unadopted by the council and there is a big hill to get out of before hitting the main roads.
Hope I make it there and back in one piece.

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Feeding minefield

I am intending to breastfeed this new baby and make a better job of it than I did before. I will avoid all the mistakes I made last time, will probably find new mistakes to make and of course every baby is different.

I went for lunch with a friend today. She told me how she was hoping her LO would sleep through now she had changed him to hungry baby milk. She said I might be lucky and have a baby that goes 4 hours between feeds and sleeps through early on!

I replied with, ‘I will be breastfeeding, feeds will more than likely be every 2-3 hours and sleeping through is rare until much later on. This is ok with me, it’s normal and I don’t have any expectations of it being any different.’

She immediately replied with ‘don’t put pressure on yourself. It might not work, and if it doesn’t, don’t feely guilty about giving up, it’s best for you and the baby!’

I was surprised by her response. It seemed so negative and defeatist before I have even had a go. She could have said, you’ll be fine! Things will be much better second time around etc….

She then burst into tears and started telling me how embarrassed she was that her baby was so huge. (He is 4 months old, weighs 19lbs and is in 9-12 month clothing) I found myself reassuring herself she had done nothing wrong. I do feel she overfeeds him, but I am not one to judge or say to her that I am right. I don’t know how it must be to have a baby demanding more and more milk. If Charlie was ever hungry, I just latched him on. Bottle feeding is such a different ball game.

After pondering it after I came home, I decided that neither breastfeeding nor bottle feeding is easier. For me, breastfeeding was hard due to sore nipples, poor latch, low supply and slow let down. Bottle feeding is hard due to deciding how much to put in that bottle, when to offer a bottle, what milk to give? Sterilising, preparing feeds when out and no kettle, running out of milk!

For me, (and this is very personal to me) the guilt of giving up would consume me. It was fear of the the guilt that stopped me giving up for Charlie, not fear of anything else.

How we feed our babies is such a minefield.

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