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Archive for September, 2011

{this moment}

{this moment} – a Friday ritual. Some photos capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember
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Call me mad….

… but I am convinced I can feel this baby moving about!
The last few evenings whilst I have been sitting watching TV/crocheting I can feel tiny little flutters right down low, just above my pelvic bone. They are consistent and don’t move anywhere else, and I don’t have wind!
People are always asking me, can you feel the baby yet? I always answer it’s far too early for that! But secretly thinking, yes I think I can actually. As I type now I can feel it.
If anyone else told me what I have just written, I would tut under my breath and call them deluded.
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Donor sperm

So the vesicle that once contained the donor sperm that made Charlie and that also made the baby dancing around inside me, came to visit this weekend.
I have blogged lots of times before on my feelings during this visits and this is no exception.
He arrived late Saturday night and we chatted for a few hours before going to bed. This was fine, we laughed and told stories and all was good. I always remember during these moments, how much I actually like him, but he often says things to spoil it.
He currently visits an escort on his weekends off work and was telling us about him. He mentioned how he had talked to him about how he ‘had a child’. I pointed out that telling people he ‘had a child’ was misleading and really not true. He defended his position by maintaining he always elaborates on how the child does not live with him. I hate that he even feels this way. I don’t know how I think he should feel, or what terminology he should use, but all I know is, I don’t like it!
He also said again about how his role might one day be expanded…. this will never happen with my consent. He has no role. He role was over after 10 mins of watching his DVD’s.
Why do we have these visits then? Good. bloody. question. Because we agreed to them pre-conception (sort of…… because we were intending to live very near, and remain friends of course, we now live 3 hours away) and because we don’t want Charlie to wonder, nor fantasise about his biology. Simple. There is no role involved in this.
Stacy did the bulk of the visit with him, by taking him to a park on Sunday. As always he over stepped the mark by going over the top (getting into the ball pool with all the children, and giving Charlie kisses etc…) but she dealt with it in a calm way.
As he left he said ‘see you in 2012!’ and I punched the air and said ‘yes!’ that is ages away 😀

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Charlie’s first haircut

I have been nagging to get his hair cut for a while… but I was being met with resistance from my Mum and from Stacy. They finally agreed to letting me do it this week, it was growing over his ears and the back was horizontal after a nap!
He was good as gold. He was wondering what was going on, but never made a fuss and gave the barber an easy job. We kept a little envelope of some hair for his baby book.
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We went out for Tapas afterwards, Charlie’s meal was so cute!!
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This is Charlie signing ‘aeroplane’ in the garden, he made this sign up himself 🙂
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2nd scan

We had our second scan today to measure the nuchal fold at the back of the baby’s neck. The sonographer this time was not at all friendly! It makes such a difference to the experience of a scan if the sonographer is nice…. and really they should know this! The measurement came out at 1.4 and I had a blood test taken as well to go along with it to work out the overall risk our baby has Downs.
She asked if we wanted a picture and I did, because I wanted to get a shot of the nub! She said well didn’t you get one last time? And we said we would like another one, which she huffed at and said she didn’t think we would get a very good one. She had one attempt at getting one, and came out with a very crappy image of our sweet pea.
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I am not even sure there is a nub to guess on here!
I was a little miffed, but just happy baby was healthy and still doing aerobics like last week!
I met with the doctor again who talked me though the next stages. They are going to do an extra scan at 36 weeks to check size of baby and it’s position. She suggested I should be induced to make sure they are in control of the birth. I really don’t want to be induced, but will do anything to make sure things are as safe as possible for the baby.
They also want me to do a GTT. UGH!! I did this last time and really hated it. I said I wouldn’t do it, but they encouraged me to think about it and change my mind. I will probably end up doing the ‘right thing’ and going through with it, but…UGH!

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I went to choir last night and was excited to take along our scan picture and show everyone. Most people in the choir are middle aged and upwards (going up to 85!!) there are only a few on us in our 20’s and 30’s.
Anyway most people were excited and were cooing over the photo. This one woman called Wendy who is known to be quite abrupt and to the point said to me,
‘So, do you live with the person that impregnated you?’
I just looked at her and said….um no
and she said ‘well how then?’ gesturing towards my tummy.
I found it quite funny, especially telling everyone else the question I had just been asked.

Today we went to a new term of tinytalk (baby signing). We are going to a new group as my old one is on a Monday (when I work). There were 2 women there who appeared to only have one child between them and during the coffee break I went up to them and asked if he was both of theirs. They replied yes and I said oh Charlie has 2 Mums too! They were really pleased I had come over and we had a good chat. I am not sure if we will carry on the group as it was quite a drive away, but if I do….it would be nice to become friends as their little boy was 15 months old too.

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Scan!!

We had our 12 week scan today! I was so nervous sitting in the waiting area. Being part of a birth club is wonderful in some respects, but it does incite paranoia in me. It seems every day someone was posting that they had lost their baby, or been for their scan only to find an empty sac or a MMC 😦
They kept us waiting over an hour before we were called through! I had read every single leaflet available to me, and now consider myself very knowledgeable of pregnancy and childbirth.
Our sonographer was lovely and went straight to the heartbeat to show us all was ok. Our first initial view of the baby was from the front and I said, oh it’s a little bear! She did giggle at this, but she has probably heard it a hundred times before 😉
The baby was soooo wiggly! It was bouncing around, twisting and turning and waving its arms around. This was in stark contrast to Charlie’s scan. He hardly moved at all in his! In fact the baby wiggles around so much it was not possible to take all the measurements and they want me to go back next Weds for a repeat scan (to get the nuchal measurement mainly) I wasn’t upset by this, bonus scan and peek at our little bear.
So happy!
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We also had a consult with my consultant, who just told me to carry on with the anticoagulants and she won’t see me again until 36 weeks to discuss induction (which I am unlikely to agree with!)

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